It’s a wonderful Christmas story!

Bob and his ol' lady.
Bob and his ol' lady.

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I hope you enjoy this special holiday message for the founder of TheWeirdcap.com and MyStrangeStories.com.  For those who don’t follow Bob Senitram’s weekly column, his weekly rambles can be found in the Ask Bob column.

 

I understand how folks really love the Jesus, but for some reason its always at the expense of others.  I’ve always questioned the theology of religions that end up hurting more people than they help.

 

If you question the validity of the Jesus, then you may be interested in the conspiracy theory written a few years back.  Basically its suggesting that perhaps one of Jesus’s followers was responsible for the “elimination” of John the Baptist so that Jesus would become more popular.  – Click here for more

 

I added a few more theories:

 

I.

If it just so happens that you do believe that the Jesus was the son of God or something like that, then riddle me this.  What if Mohammed, Confucious, Buddah, and other religious leaders (not counting Joseph Smith) were actually an incarnation of the same spirit that went into the making of the Jesus.

 

Then in reality there really is only one God and one religion for one world.  The differences are just cultural differences.

 

What if God expected to spread his word to different parts of the world allowing locals to interpret in accordance to their own culture.  Then he thought after people traveled the glob, they would come together and notice the similarities in each religion and embrace each other and say, “OMG, I can’t believe we believe the same thing!”

 

But instead of noticing the similarities people only noticed the differences and argued about semantics and details and started wars, all in the name of God.

 

Now God has his hand on his forehead and is saying, “Jesus, will you look at these stupid humans…they just can’t get nuthin’ right!  I knew no good would come out of those talking apes.”

 

II.

If God is the God of the Universe then perhaps Jesus was the savior of the Universe as well.  If that’s the case then I see two logical scenarios.  A. Jesus had to be sacrificed for each planet in the Universe.  Or B. Jesus only had to die once for the whole Universe/Multiverse. 

 

Enter Earth and the Human race.  Yup, you can count on us.

 

Maybe when the Old Testiment said “we” were the chosen people, he didn’t mean just the Jewish people but all inhabitants of Earth were chosen. 

 

And by chosen, I mean that out of all the planets with sentient life in our Universe/Multiverse…we are by far the most un-intelligent group of grunting, butt-scratching morons that ever existed.

 

Therefore, we are chosen because we are the only life form soooooooooooooo stupid that we would actually kill God if we came face to face with him.

 

The reason why I believe in evolution isn’t because of archeological finds.  Its because the poor decisions made by humans time and time again CONVINCES ME that we were a biological accident that God tried to fix.

 

Talking apes!

 

What a waste of time.

 

 

 

COMING NEXT: I can’t remember how that stain on my kitchen wall got there?

 

 Bob Senitram’s weekly column, his weekly rambles can be found in the Ask Bob column.

Robert Senitram

I like paste.

2 thoughts on “It’s a wonderful Christmas story!

  1. I read this 6 months later after I wrote it and realized it all true! Humans are the most dim-witted, nose picking, interstellar trash of the entire universe!

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