The Cheeseburgers of Enlightenment

Prologue: Billy Billy Johnson was a 14 year-old Caucasian who lived in the quiet, complacent suburb of Middleton, Wisconsin. He was Christian and heterosexual. He wore black Nike sneakers, Gap Jeans, an Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt, Fruit of the Loom Underpants, and a Mickey Mouse hat. In his right hand he held a plate with a slice of apple pie, and in his left he held a can of Pepsi. He had blue eyes, blonde hair, and semi-white teeth, as well as an idiotic grin, which was accentuated by an ugly layer of teenage peachfuzz above his upper lip. Read more